


That's not my name

by Ravenmyre



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged up characters, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shop, Fluff, M/M, Yuri Plisetsky is a Brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenmyre/pseuds/Ravenmyre
Summary: Yuri tries to misspell the names as often as he can much to the annoyance of the coffee drinkers. Christophe gets “Cancer” and a reminder that Viktor is a nasty fucker and so is he, Seun-Gil gets a “Some-fill”, and Phichit gets “Phichit” cause Yuri can respect a man with serious Instagram game.(Phichit comes back later for another coffee and requests that Yuri “works his magic” on his name so he can put it on Instagram. So he gets “Feet” written on his cup.)ORYou’re my jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when I order my caffeine fix AU





	That's not my name

“Harold!” He all but slams the fancy – waste of good coffee beans in his humble opinion – mocha latte down on the counter.

The blond jock with the stupid backwards snap back has the gall to say, “That’s not my name.”

Yuri ignores him and walks back to the cashier. He nearly flips him off, but Viktor would say something about it being bad for business.

“Hey!” ‘Harold’ tries again. “It’s Howard.”

“Fuck off,” Yuri says not so under his breath in Russian. Viktor isn’t here right now, so what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He looks up to the next customer. “What do you want?”

The girl turns her nose up at him. “Grande skinny latte with a splash of coconut milk and an extra shot.”

“Hey! I was talking to you!” The guy waves his hand at the drink.

A dark haired man walks out from the back at the sound of a distressed customer. His dark clothes are speckled with confectionary sugar with flour smudged on his dark rimmed glasses and cheek. Good old Katsudon, always ready to deal with the customers Yuri manages to piss off. Hey, Yuri warned him it was going to happen. Katsudon blinks owlishly at Yuri before he straightens his back and dusts off his hands on his already flour and icing flecked apron. It disgusts Yuri to no end that both he and the old man have stupid poodles embroidered onto the pockets of the apron. Everyone knows that tigers are better than dogs. _Everyone_.

“Name?”

“Jenni. With an i.”

Yuri doesn’t bother trying to cover his snort. He scrawls down the name – Inny – and slides it down towards where Kasudon is trying to appease the douche bro with his smiles and sweets. If only Viktor knew - wait. Never mind, he'd be all over Katsudon like rice - ugh. Ew.

The douche bro is staring at him with his mouth open and nodding stupidly as Katsudon presses a cookie into his hand and bids him goodbye. He stands there for a few more minutes before wandering off.

“Yurio.” Katsudon sighs as he picks up the cup and stares at the name.

“That’s not my name, Pig.”

Katsudon raises the cup at him.

Yuri turns his back to him and crosses his arms and in Russian says, “That’s what she said her name was.”

They both know this is an argument Katsudon won’t win. He’s been working here for as long as _Agape & Eros _has been open, and since Viktor is dealing with their largest catering order yet for that idiot JJ’s wedding, he’s stationed in the front of the store and has to deal with all the nauseating people. It also means he has to stare at the framed newspaper of Katsudon and Viktor holding hands and cutting a cake together with the headline, “ _AGAPE & EROS TAKES THE WORLD BY CAKE.”_ If he had a say about what it would be by the front door, it would be the decal that Katsudon had set up in the back. It’s a maple, hand carved, and stained gift Georgi, the lovesick fool, had made. It’s a just a simple coffee cup emblazoned with the shop’s name burned in gold calligraphy. Unfortunately it’s always the place where people go take their Instagram photos, so there’s hardly ever a time he can go sit by it and enjoy pirozhki during his break. Not that Yuri would ever mention that to Viktor, though. The old man would hold it over him forever, yapping on and on about how Yuri has always loved his style or some shit like that.

And what’s worse, he has to listen to the radio croon about lovers and all that shit. _Agape & Eros _is an award winning store, not a fucking sappy coffee shop. It should be something a bit more like rock! Assert dominance, something like that. It makes him die a little more inside every time he has to work up front. They need _ambiance_ and _coolness_. Not whatever this “delicate” shit is.

(He’d never tell them though, but he does like the muted blues and pinks decorating the walls. It fits Viktor and Yuuri.)

When Viktor is here, they let him work his magic on the apple filled pirozhki using his grandfather’s recipe in the back. There, he doesn’t have to interact with people; he doesn’t have to see those savages ruin perfectly beautiful coffee with milk and sugar, or whatever the shit they want in there. He gets to ignore Viktor and Yuuri making eyes at each other at the counter and he gets his peace.

It’s quite simple. People don’t like him; he doesn’t like them. He just tolerates Katsudon and the old snot because he has to, not because he likes them no matter what they say.

Katsudon sighs and calls out, “Jenny?”

The girl walks off with a grimace when she sees the name and pulls out her phone.

Yuri waves his hands at the girl’s turned back. “Free promo.” He’s made it onto Tumblr and Instagram trends for his misspelling. It’s making them famous! Or notorious, whatever. It brings people in – not that they need the help, but still.

Katsudon gives him a small smile before shaking his head and wandering back into the kitchen. “Be nice, Yurio. And don’t forget your name tag.”

Yuri huffs and pulls out his own phone, flicking onto the shop’s Instagram tags. Lo and behold, there are two new photos racking up likes. His untidy scrawl in black sharpie is in the center of all of it. (Screw the nametag. He lost the nametag a while ago, and like hell is he going to wear Katsudon’s! Cause his name is Yuri, not _Yuuri_. Get it right. And if Viktor found out, he’d probably make one that said Yurio and _fuck_ that.)

Before he can draw air into his lungs and yell at Katsudon about how he has never been wrong in his entire life, it’s punched out of him with the cheerful jingle of the door.

He’s nothing like the hipster wannabes that the shop attracts more often than not. Leather jacket, black skinny jeans, shaved sides, and a dark fringe, the man that entered exudes more _cool_ than Viktor has ever done in his life. Not that Viktor has ever.

“What do you want?” Yuri says. He doesn’t preen when he catches the other man’s eyes flick over him.

“Coffee. Large.”

Yuri nods, grabbing a cup from the holder under the register. That’s the simplest order he’s gotten all day. For that, he'll let the uncultured "large" instead of "venti" slide. “Name?”

Popping open the sharpie, he waits. When he hears nothing, his head whips up and he stares. The other man stares back, gaze unreadable. There are dark circles beneath his eyes and -

“O.”

“That’s your name?” Yuri says incredulously. He frowns looking at the cup. Thanks for making his life difficult, _O_.

O’s mouth ticks up slightly and nods, but doesn’t say anything else. He slips the bills over to Yuri before walking to the end of the counter.

Well, fine.

Yuri tucks the money into the register before he picks up the sharpie again, chewing on his lip. How the fuck is he supposed to misspell ‘O’?

It’s so lame, but he hastily writes it down and scowls. "O" better not dump sugar into the coffee. Yuri fills the cup to the brim and snaps on the lid and places it onto the counter.

O stares at it for a moment, face blank. Yuri smirks and is about to leave before – what. O is smiling, lips curling at the edges as he picks up the cup. His fingers brush over Yuri’s handwriting as if he can’t believe that Yuri wrote “Oboe” instead of a simple “O”.

Yuri gapes as O opens the lid, dumps three spoonfuls of sugar and leaves with a nod.

He’s still standing there, dumbfounded when Katsudon reappears with a tray of pastila.

“Yurio?”

That’s enough to shut his mouth and scowl at Katsudon. “That’s not my fucking name!”

Katsudon laughs at him.

 

* * *

 

Viktor makes him take care of the shop when he comes back the next day. He drags Katsudon away with a hearty wave, for a late “lunch break”. It doesn’t take a genius to know what they’re gonna do. Not with the way Viktor stared at Katsudon’s ass since they opened the bakery this morning. Yuri wants to gouge out his eyeballs with the foaming spoon.

“Good! No one needs your nasty asses here!” Yuri says in Russian as Viktor whisks his husband away. He’d flip the two off too, but there are customers. At least the old fart had some decency to wait until after the lunch rush.

And so the day goes, where he gets to misspell the names as often as he can much to the annoyance of the coffee drinkers. Christophe gets “Cancer” and a reminder that Viktor is a nasty fucker and so is he, Seun-Gil gets a “Some-fill”, and Phichit gets “Phichit” cause Yuri can respect a man with serious Instagram game.

(Phichit comes back later for another coffee and requests that Yuri “works his magic” on his name so he can put it on Instagram. So he gets “Feet” written on his cup. When Yuri checks the @Agape&Eros account, @phichit+chu has uploaded a selfie of himself smiling while holding the cup next to his face proudly.)

(When Mila stops by, he doesn’t bother trying to misspell her name, just writes “hag” as large as he can around the entire cup. It’s worth a few sharpie stains on his hands. She just laughs at him and reminds him that just because he’s grown since they’ve worked in the same kitchen doesn’t mean she can’t still lift him up above her head. Yuri doesn’t shiver in fright, he does not.

“Tell Viktor and Yuuri I said hi and that the Dorayaki and Castella are wonderful as always!”

“No.”

“Aww, give me a hug for the road?”

“Fuck off, hag!”)

There’s a lull in the day, so he’s scrolling through the tags again when the door jingles again.

“Welcome to Agape & Eros, what do you want,” Yuri says, not looking up from his phone.

“Coffee, please. Large.”

Yuri’s eyes widen and he jerks up, nearly dropping his phone. He shoves it into his pocket and can’t help himself.

“You’re not mad?” A pause. "It's venti. Get it right."

O stares back at him, though there’s a small uptick at the edge of his lips. It reaches his eyes and Yuri can’t help but think it makes him look more… more human?

“Why would I be?”

Yuri snorts and grabs a cup from the stack. “Better not put sugar in the coffee.”

O just shrugs and passes him the money before ambling towards the other end of the counter.

“What’s your name?” Yuri can’t help but ask.

(It's not like he wants to put a name to O's face. Shut up.)

The other man turns and smiles more – Yuri’s stomach doesn’t drop, shut up – before he says, “Surprise me.”

There’s that suspicious flutter in his stomach later when he passes O his coffee and O tips his head back and laughs. Yuri had written “Otter”.

 

* * *

 

 

O keeps comes the day after, the day after that, and the day after that. Yuri gets to know that O rides a kickass motorcycle, how fucking cool is that?! He owns a cat named Sasha – Viktor and Katsudon can suck it, cats are cooler than dogs – and has a sister back at home in Almaty.

He’s kneading the dough for the pirozhki in a daze when Viktor waves a hand in front of him.

“What?!” Yuri steps backwards and nearly drops the dough. “Don’t scare me like that, old man!”

Viktor peers at him, finger on his mouth. And dammit, even though he’s grown taller over the years, Yuri still isn’t as tall as Viktor.

“Yuuuuuuri! I think our Yurio has a lover!” Viktor says at last and stands up straight, finger in the air.

“What the fuck – mind your own business!” Yuri turns back to his dough and glances at the bubbling deep fryer where a couple pirozhki float, sizzling happily. He’s flushing because of the heat, yes.

Yuuri peers into the kitchen, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Oh? You mean that boy?”

“Boy?” Viktor spins Yuri around and pinches his cheeks. “The boy with the motorcycle?”

“Get the fuck off of me!” Yuri wiggles out of Viktor’s grasp, careful not to elbow anything.

Yuuri looks over his shoulder and something flashes in his eyes when he turns around to look back at Yuri.

Oh. Oh no.

“Oh Yuri, would you look at that. It’s your break.”

Viktor all but pushes him out of the kitchen, the traitor, and Katsudon pushes him out from the counter.

“You fuck – oh.” Yuri’s mouth snaps shut as he sees O leaning against the counter, the ever present leather jacket on his shoulders.

O’s eyes crinkle at him when he smiles and Yuri’s traitorous stomach flutters again. This is getting out of hand – play it cool, Plisetsky.

“Your name is Yuri?” O asks.

“That’s what my name tag says.” Yuri waves a hand at his apron – oh. He looks down and chews on his lip. Right. He lost that.

Flushing, he scowls, and looks away. “Then what’s your name?”

“Otabek. Otabek Atlin.”

“That’s not your – ” Yuri stops. Otabek. Not Oboe, Oxyclean, Olive, Otter, Oatmeal, Oxymoron, or whatever he’s written down these past few weeks. “It was that easy?”

Otabek shrugs. “You never told me your name.”

“You never asked!”

“I liked the names you wrote. They were funny.”

Yuri repeats “Otabek” few times, letting the name roll off his tongue. His heart flutters too, so he clenches his hands by his side cause he knows that both of those meddling idiots are listening.

“Can I buy you a coffee?” Otabek interrupts his thoughts, extending a hand.

Yuri looks up and gapes. “I _work_ here.”

Otabek cants his head and offers him a tiny smile. “Perhaps you can show me the ‘proper’ way to drink coffee.”

Squinting, Yuri puts his hand into his. “You’re on. And it's venti!”

 

* * *

 

When Otabek walks him home a few dates later, Yuri tells him sweet coffee is awful and his is better, Otabek shuts him up with a kiss that tastes as sweet as the coffee he drinks. And okay, fine. Maybe he can get behind it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in a long while. Thanks for reading!


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